Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
