i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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