Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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