He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
