His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
