Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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