he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
