He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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