Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
