her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
And then my night got REAL pukey
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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