whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
its liver damage thursday
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
