My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I wear drunk well.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
