i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
