sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
