We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
