you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
