If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Every concussion has its silver lining
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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