Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Randomize
