okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
