Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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