I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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