I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
