dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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