I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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