Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Randomize
