I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
