Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
operation harelip BJ is a go
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Randomize
