im about as happy as oj after his trial
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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