I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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