Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
All the doctor said was why
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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