I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
