That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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