i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
