Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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