put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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