You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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