But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
