May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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