he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
