Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
