in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
