don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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