If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
