I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
