some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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