I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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