It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Actions speak louder than pants.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
