You made me cry and you don't even care
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
