we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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