chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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