Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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