im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
