Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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