Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
