did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
